(pixabay)

Simpson: Training for snowball fights best done in socks

It’s odd the things our kids do to make us proud

I picked my son up from school the other day and he was visibly tired and sweaty. It worried me.

This is what happens in the world of COVID-19. Had be been exposed? Is he ill? Oh no. My son! My first-born! Will we all get it? Will I get it and not be able to take care of my family? Will we have to stop working? How will we pay our mortgage?

It turned out he just had gym and was sweaty from being his six-and-a-half-year-old self and running like crazy for however long the class was.

Phew. I relaxed a bit. Pandemic panic averted. This time anyway.

“He’s a sniper,” his teacher said with a grin.

I looked at her quizzically as shooting isn’t something we regularly practice at home and I’m not so sure I’d like to raise a sniper.

I gather another teacher had gone to the dollar store and bought up all of the pretend snowballs after Christmas, and my son’s class had an indoor snowball fight during their gym time.

My darling son, and not just him he assures me, but all of his classmates, too, worked hard to peg off the teacher.

My boy has a good aim. It’s all because of socks.

My husband and I made a rule early on in our children’s lives, I’m not even sure when it was, and the rule was this: The only thing we throw in this house is socks.

I figure we made the rule either after we had one too many balls thrown at us — we like sports in my house — or after that one time that everyone had to go outside for an hour and a half because somebody threw something that resulted in a broken glass shattering and me having to pick up everything, including the furniture, to make sure our crawling baby and toddler didn’t get hurt.

Anyway. The only thing we throw in this house is socks. They break the rule, of course. That’s what kids do. But in general, it’s followed and if they’ve forgotten, a quick reminder usually does the trick.

The rule, however, has resulted in an inordinate about of sock fights.

After all, socks are permitted to throw and why not take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself, right? We all seem to take advantage of it. I take great pleasure in nailing a kid square in the face with a pair of their socks. Or in the back when they aren’t looking. Oh calm down. It never hurts and they don’t even complain because IT’S A RULE. Plus, they just get me back? They throw them at me and the battle begins.

In any event, I laughed when I learned my kid had a good aim because I was oddly proud of him. I mean, I don’t condone attacking your teacher but there are few rules in a snowball fight and if your teacher is playing, well, she’d better keep her head up!

For more news from Vancouver Island and beyond delivered daily into your inbox, please click here.



sarah.simpson@cowichanvalleycitizen.com

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

ColumnistComedy and Humour

Just Posted

The victim of the homicide on Cowichan Lake Road early Monday morning was 17 years old, and was stabbed in the incident. (File photo)
Duncan homicide victim was 17 years old

RCMP report that teenager was stabbed

Activists from the Fairy Creek Blockades hold the injunction application notice which was submitted by logging company Teal Jones to the B.C. Supreme Court. The application, which asks to have blockaders removed from the sites that stop access to cut blocks, is set to be heard on March 4. (Photo contributed/Joshua Wright)
Activists hunker down to protect Fairy Creek near Port Renfrew from logging

Forest company Teal Cedar applies for injunction to remove seven-month-old blockades

(File photo)
Island conservation group says members targeted with harassment, vandalism

Police investigate pair of reports of mischief victims call pushback against conservation efforts

Nootka Sound RCMP responded to a workplace fatality report south of Gold River on Monday morning. (Campbell River Mirror photo)
One dead in workplace accident at Gold River logging site

The RCMP and Work Safe BC are investigating the incident at Western Forest Product’s TFL 19

Nanaimo RCMP are looking for a suspect who smashed the window of an adult toy store and made off with more than $1,200 in merchandise. (File photo)
Nanaimo sex shop out $1,200 in merchandise after suspect steals ‘colossal’ product

Suspect smashed window of Whispers Adult Superstore overnight Feb. 21

Sooke Lake Reservoir, shown here, is the primary storage site for Greater Victoria’s drinking water supply. The Capital Regional District just purchased a property on the north edge of the water supply area to help further protect the supply. (Photo courtesy CRD)
CRD acquires 58.7-hectare watershed to further protect Greater Victoria drinking water supply

Forested area near Grant Lake is part of the Cowichan Valley Regional District

Older rental apartments are prime candidates for renovations, and could result in lost affordable housing stock. (Zoë Ducklow photo)
B.C.’s renoviction overhaul a good start, but won’t preserve affordable stock, lawyer says

And still no protection for people who can’t pay rent due to COVID-19

(Photo by Marissa Baecker/Shoot the Breeze)
B.C. WHL teams to hit the ice with Kelowna, Kamloops hub cities

Kelowna, Kamloops centres chosen to host B.C. WHL teams for 24-game regular season

(File photo)
RCMP arrest man after report of gun-toting threat-maker near Parksville schools

43-year-old man taken into custody; students at nearby schools were asked to stay inside

The machines are akin to ATMs and allow drug users at risk of overdose to get hydromorphone pills dispensed to them after their palm has been scanned to identify its unique vein pattern. (CANADIAN PRESS)
Feds dole out $3.5M for ‘vending machines’ to dispense safer opioids in B.C.

The machines are located in four cities across Canada, including Vancouver and Victoria

Kelowna’s lakefront visitor centre is one of 130 around the province. Tourism businesses have been hardest hit by COVID-19 restrictions on travel. (Destination B.C.)
Tourism, small business getting COVID-19 help, B.C. minister says

$300M grant program has delivered $50 million so far

The incident happened in downtown Castlegar. Photo: Betsy Kline
Castlegar teen recounts stabbing after stranger breaks into grandmother’s house

The unnamed teen survived a terrifying attack Feb. 21

Most Read