Yannick Craigwell shows off some of his edible marijuana baked treats in Vancouver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2018. Craigwell doesn’t need to guess how large Canadians’ appetites will be for edible pot products once they’re legal. He already knows — they’re huge. THE CANADIAN PRESS Jonathan Hayward

Yannick Craigwell shows off some of his edible marijuana baked treats in Vancouver, Wednesday, Oct. 3, 2018. Craigwell doesn’t need to guess how large Canadians’ appetites will be for edible pot products once they’re legal. He already knows — they’re huge. THE CANADIAN PRESS Jonathan Hayward

Column: Consciousness legally deeper today

The rules governing marijuana sound like they were dreamed up at a pot party.

What were they smoking?

Oh, wait! I know!

Today, you can legally buy marijuana anywhere in Canada… except where you can’t.

And you can smoke it anywhere in Canada… except where you can’t.

Marijuana, like alcohol, is deemed to be a relatively safe mind-altering drug, provided it is used responsibly and appropriately… except when it’s not.

And you can grow four whole plants for your own use anywhere across the entire country… except where you can’t.

The rules governing marijuana sound like they were made at a pot party.

Have you ever listened to a conversation between people who are high on grass… when you’re not?

The thoughts expressed – if you can call them that – quickly get convoluted and confusing, and generally can be understood only by someone who has smoked enough weed to believe that the convoluted and confusing thoughts that are being expressed are understandable.

But they are not.

Those who believe they understand the profound thoughts being bandied back and forth in an apparent psychic vortex of super-intellectual energy are convinced that another hit off the bong, another shared toke, another bite of brownie will drive them further into a place inside their mind where there is a deeper consciousness.

But it won’t.

Follow the conversation closely enough and your consciousness will be unconsciously carried on an incredible ride into a realm of contradictions that prove that contradictions don’t exist. Disorganized reality will be reorganized into real organization. Everything will be accomplished through the accomplishment of nothing.

But avoid getting a contact high off the profoundly intellectual fumes permeating the air around them, or you will discover that their conversation – like all of the weird and strange convolutions embodied by Canada’s new recreational pot laws – don’t just make sense, after all, but are a doorway to a new and revelationary reality that transcends normal existence and organizes the mind into a contradiction of accomplishments that will reveal the sound of one hand clapping… the noise of a tree falling in the forest while there is no one there to hear it… the clang of crystal explosions in a vacuum unable to transmit sound waves… the clamour of politicians making sense – and that last will bring with it the realization that you have gotten really, really stoned.

And what was I talking about?

And does it really matter?

Oh, yeah. Pot’s legal now.

Bob Groeneveld writes for the Langley Advance.

Bob GroeneveldOdd Thoughts